we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
