i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
