i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
