omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
