Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
