FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
