just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize