I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So much Jack, so little girl.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
