do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
