I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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