I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
