Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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