How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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