Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
