Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
