I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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