I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
