I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
