Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
