only if we run a train.
done.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize