why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Everclear isn't food dammit
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
