vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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