she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
