I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize