fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
