Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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