you have to choose: penises or morals?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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