Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we have officially lost it.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
