I cockslap morals
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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