I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
