I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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