i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize