I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
