Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
