I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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