she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They took my balls.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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