He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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