I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
