I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
