she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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