Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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