I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
only you would photoshop your dick
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
