cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
