I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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