Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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