no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
