too bad you live with your parents still
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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