I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize