If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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