we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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