First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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