What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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