whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
