He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
