I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize