i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
