shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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