We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
