Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How's work?
Spinning.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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