oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
