Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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