wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
