So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
