Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
