But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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