The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
