I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
