sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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