Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii

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(630): View more from Illinois

hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?

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(773): View more from Illinois

Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

(847): View more from Illinois

No promises.

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(240): View more from Maryland

stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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(360): View more from Washington

He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.

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(916): View more from California

My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.

(313): View more from Michigan

This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.

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