You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
