WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
