Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
